My grandmother is dying.

That’s just the truth. And as I squint trough my tears to type this on my phone because yes, of course I want to post that awesome picture of us from Christmas but I can’t fucking stand to sit at my desk to write this on the mini instead of my iPhone because that not only makes it real but reminds me of things that hurt aside from the fact that

my Mamau is dying.

I have to keep typing it. It’s a sick obsession, compulsion, I don’t even know the difference right now and most times I would look them up and make sure I was saying the exact right thing because most times that’s so important to me but right now

my Mamau is dying.

and I can’t change it and I can’t fix it and I can’t do anything but hope hope hope that I am wrong, and that she’s just sick for now and will be better tomorrow and better yet the next day and GODDAMIT Mamau, you can’t go yet.

please don’t go yet.

 

Kirsten

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4 Responses

  1. All I can say is I love you and I love her, thank you for sharing her all these years. If you need us, you know where we are.

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