Sometimes I am cruising along on a very specific train of thought when I draft a post in my mind. That was the case for my “letting go of expectations” post, and yet… There was a very important bit that completely escaped me when I was writing it, and which came to mind immediately after publishing.
I wonder if the omission was subconsciously deliberate (is that an oxy moron?).
So, I need to talk about the purple, glittery, showtune-singin’ elephant on the blog.
There are people who I know read this who would absolutely see themselves in what I haven’t yet said. There are people I don’t know read this blog but who might, who could see themselves in what I haven’t yet said. I am walking a fine line every time I post here and share the link publicly.
I don’t want to censor myself. I don’t want to be passive-aggressive or subversive or gamey. I don’t want to hurt anyone or make anyone question things that my words should NOT make them question. To anyone who reads what I have not yet shared, but will, I ask you to consider it not as something to contradict what you know and feel from our interactions, but something to reinforce it.
So, with that in mind, I am going to leave this post’s comments open. I invite anyone who reads to leave an anonymous comment, and I welcome you to elaborate or not on your feelings on this topic. I am not linking this to any social networks; this is just for active readers, not folks who may find it interesting to see what comments are left. I’ve changed settings so that name and email are not required, and comments will not be visible to anyone who just happens upon my page.
I’m not entirely sure what I hope to gain from this. Maybe an opportunity to quell my fear that I will hurt someone with my words? Maybe a chance to reassure readers, known or unknown, that they were not the first or only person on my mind when I was contemplating X Y or Z difficult topic? Maybe I just needed to say, “I realize that you may see yourself in this. I acknowledge it, I value it, I honor it, and I also am going to address this thing that is important for me to put out there as part of my Truth. Whether it is ‘about’ you or not, you are learning something important about me, and I want you to know it. Do with it what you will.”
I guess that’s all for now. I have a lot of big feelings that I don’t think I would have had if I would have journaled and outlined my “Letting go, Part 4” post. I guess that’ll learn me.